I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest. my whole life so far is leading up to that moment
replacing my heart with another liver so i can drink more and care less
Ph. Lobke Leijser
I DIDNT UNDERSTAND THAT SHE WAS WEARING A SWEATER WITH WHITE SLEEVES I ONLY SAW THE BLACK AND GOT REALLY SCARED BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE HAD FREAKISHLY SKINNY SLENDERMAN ARMS OH GOD
So I work at target now and one of my favorite things to do when I hear something in the next aisle fall is to drop what I’m doing and stand at the end of that aisle like so:
reblogging this because i think it is creative and funny, not because i dont get laid. this is a good joke, and i have a lot of sex with women
was that really necessary to add
huh? just sharing my love of getting laid. didn’t mean to offend you friend. i just have a lot of sex. with women. i get laid a lot and thats why i added this.